I am going on another date with the boy who was, more or less, the subject of a previous post. I feel like such a twit, because this is what I thought I wanted, but all week, along with finals, I've been worried about it.
"What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"
I don't really like hand holding. It's ok for a bit, but then my hand starts to get sweaty and strange, and I just want it to be in another position, but I never know how to extricate myself without being off-putting. It's long-term hand holding that upsets me. If actions speak louder than words how does one explain "It's not that I don't like you, I just can't bear to hold you're hand any longer."
Also, I feel uncomfortable when people spend money on me. It makes me feel pressured to be fun and exciting. I feel like I have to provide enough entertainment to justify the cost of dinner. It would be different if I was going out with a Doctor, or a CEO, and I knew they could afford it, but everyone my age is poor. Conversely when a certain boy (who shall remain nameless) never spent any money on me, I accused him of being cheap.
It's all such a pain in the neck...and yet...I think Woody Allen says it best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-M3Q2zhGd4
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Heaven knows I keep forgetting that I've given up on dating. It just feels so good when I click with someone, even if it's just me and not him, and even if it doesn't work out. Woody Allen is genius.
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