Whats In My Purse!

Keep in mind that my purse is larger on the inside than it appears on the outside.

Gone With the Wind (it's my moms super old copy. The cover is somewhat scandalous, you know, the old movie poster with Rhett holding Scarlett and she's busting out of her slinky red dressing gown. If you just glance it looks like I'm reading a trashy romance novel, and I like that.)

Lolita (because one book just isn't enough. Do I want to read the passionate prose of Nabakov, or the epic romance of Scarlett O'Hara, and Rhett Butler. I want both options at my finger tips at any moment)

Doctor Who DVDs (series 3 if your interested)

Wallet (one day we'll play whats in my wallet. It is a post unto itself)

Mittens (because Baby, it's cold outside)

Sunglasses

mobile phone

mobile phone charger

MP3 player

MP3 player charger

keys

Mace (it's a scary world ladies)

Gum

Tissues

A myriad of pens

small notebook

Tampons (be prepared, not scared)

nail polish

Chapstick

Lipstick

eye drops

It seems like a lot, but I can't think of anything to take out (except perhaps the DVDs) but honestly, every time I don't have two books with me, I end up wishing that I did. Perhaps I'm more high maintenance than I realized.

Christmas, or an example of my family not understanding me.

Mom: (to grandma) When Jenna was little you made her this long quilted nightgown, and because it was quilted it was kind of stiff, and it dragged on the ground, so when she walked, you couldn't see her feet or her knees she just sort of floated around like a...
Me: Like a Dalek.
Mom and Grandma: (utter silence)

Converse

When I get dressed in the morning and look in the mirror I like to think “Is this the sort of outfit I could fight crime in? What about adventures through space in time. How would I look wearing this outfit if I was running really fast? What if I was caught in brief slow-motion?” and then I think “Jenna my dear one, you watch too much TV.”

But theres a reason that I always wear converse instead of heels.

Salt Lake City

I wandered around downtown with my mum, something I usually try to avoid, because she makes comments like "I love this place because it doesn't feel like Salt Lake,"

How is Salt Lake supposed to feel? Maybe these places that you love are the real Salt Lake, and I begin to realize that I've done what I swore I would never do when I was a teenager. I love Salt Lake. I love milling about the basement of Sam Weller's. I love getting tarts at Carlucci's bakery. I love getting Taco's from the Taco stands on State Street. I love loitering in the sitting room at the Broadway, and wandering through the expensive boutiques on 9th and 9th.

Today we went to Tony Caputo's and sampled gourmet chocolates. It was a day filled with metropolitan delights in our very own lovely city. Gee, but I'm lucky to live here.

Most of Us Need the Eggs

I am going on another date with the boy who was, more or less, the subject of a previous post. I feel like such a twit, because this is what I thought I wanted, but all week, along with finals, I've been worried about it.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"

I don't really like hand holding. It's ok for a bit, but then my hand starts to get sweaty and strange, and I just want it to be in another position, but I never know how to extricate myself without being off-putting. It's long-term hand holding that upsets me. If actions speak louder than words how does one explain "It's not that I don't like you, I just can't bear to hold you're hand any longer."

Also, I feel uncomfortable when people spend money on me. It makes me feel pressured to be fun and exciting. I feel like I have to provide enough entertainment to justify the cost of dinner. It would be different if I was going out with a Doctor, or a CEO, and I knew they could afford it, but everyone my age is poor. Conversely when a certain boy (who shall remain nameless) never spent any money on me, I accused him of being cheap.

It's all such a pain in the neck...and yet...I think Woody Allen says it best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-M3Q2zhGd4

Looking to absolve myself.

Today on my way to my car I came upon an elderly man who had fallen down. Instead of rushing to help him, I stayed back and watched him struggle to get back up, under a silly pretense of not wanting to hurt his pride. I do a few good deeds from time to time. I have been known to shovel the neighbors driveways, to befriend the quiet person in the class, and to help people who have dropped things. I offer my seat on the train to old ladies, I hold open doors for women with strollers, but I didn't help him, and I know I should have.

The Movies

Movies have ruined me forever. Everything I think I know, is from the movie. Any flirtatious behavior I may have picked up is not from real life, but from the movies. Everything I know about life I was taught in the movies. Speech patterns, romance, what you’re supposed to do when your sad or happy. The movies taught me what was charming, what is beautiful. Sometimes I wonder if I had never seen a movie who would I be? Where would I learn who to be, on whom would I pin my personality. Would I expect the same things from men if there weren’t hours of Romantic Comedy’s rolling around in my head? Would I expect the same things from myself if I didn’t have 70 years of beautiful actresses staring back at me in my mind’s eye? If I had never laid eyes upon a young Marlon Brando would I think that the actual boys that I met in real life were more attractive?